The winter months often make grief more challenging to bear. The shortened daylight hours coupled with the bone-chilling cold increase our need for comfort and care. It is during the winter months when we gather in tradition, including those we know as community pillars. Those who we hold in high regard. Those who inspired us through the years, and whose wisdom we quote when instilling guidance to younger generations. When we experience the loss of our community pillars during the winter months, the sting of the cold air feels stronger, and the darkness weighs a bit heavier.
Community pillars take on many roles: coach, mentor, educator, advocator, pastor, neighbor, and friend. The loss of such pillars is felt more deeply by the families who share them with the community and know them as a parent, spouse, child, sibling, or extended relative. When we grieve the physical absence of our community pillars, generic words just won’t do.
The Bible also speaks of pillars. As both a pillar of cloud and a pillar of fire, God offered visible guidance to the Israelites as they departed Egypt (Exodus 13:21-22; Nehemiah 9:12). Jacob also used a pillar to mark the final resting place of Rachel so she would not be forgotten (Genesis 35:19). In the same way, we carry the presence and legacy of our community pillars forward through remembrance, storytelling, and the way we live.
In this winter season, when the cold and darkness seem unbearable, we are called to be more intentional with our comfort and care. The loss of community pillars asks us to slow down and be present in meaningful ways, especially for the families who feel this loss most deeply. We honor our community pillars by holding on to the wisdom they shared, and by carrying their words and examples forward. By doing so, we share light and warmth with those in need, ensuring the legacy of our community pillars remains visible, strong, and longstanding.
Dr. Tanya Upthegrove Gregory
