The winter months often make grief more challenging to bear. The shortened daylight hours coupled with the bone-chilling cold increase our need for comfort and care. It is during the winter months when we gather in tradition, including those we know as community pillars. Those who we hold in high regard. Those who inspired us through the years, and whose wisdom we quote when instilling guidance to younger generations. When we experience the loss of our community pillars during the winter months, the sting of the cold air feels stronger, and the darkness weighs a bit heavier.

Community pillars take on many roles: coach, mentor, educator, advocator, pastor, neighbor, and friend. The loss of such pillars is felt more deeply by the families who share them with the community and know them as a parent, spouse, child, sibling, or extended relative. When we grieve the physical absence of our community pillars, generic words just won’t do.

The Bible also speaks of pillars. As both a pillar of cloud and a pillar of fire, God offered visible guidance to the Israelites as they departed Egypt (Exodus 13:21-22; Nehemiah 9:12). Jacob also used a pillar to mark the final resting place of Rachel so she would not be forgotten (Genesis 35:19). In the same way, we carry the presence and legacy of our community pillars forward through remembrance, storytelling, and the way we live.


Dr. Tanya Upthegrove Gregory